Same Sex Attraction Role-Play

One afternoon, you and a good friend from school start talking about religion when she remarks, "I don't understand why the Catholic Church hates gays so much. Isn't Jesus all about love? Why can't you just accept them for who they are?

How can you respond?
[Because this is a good friend, you can have a more in-depth conversation because she is really asking you a question that is not especially emotionally charged.]

1) Validate her concerns.

You: It sounds like you think that we dislike people who are attracted to the same sex and purposely exclude them from our Church.

Friend: Well doesn't the Church discriminate against gay people?

2) Share the truth about marriage with a kind tone and with great empathy.

You: The Catholic Church teaches that "every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided." The truth is that God designed human sexuality as something that a man and woman can share with each other in marriage to bring them closer and to bring children into the world. Any sexual activity outside of this context is wrong.

Friend: But I heard that the Church says that gay people are disordered - that's pretty harsh, don't you think?

You: If that were what the Church said, then I agree, that would be harsh. People are never disordered, but actions and desires can be. Our sexuality has a purpose and that's to make babies - that's the natural biological order. And the Church thinks so too, so when it says that homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered, it's pointing out something going against the natural order: the act, not the people. People aren't disordered, but sometimes we do disordered things.

Friend: But homosexuals were born that way, they can't help it. It doesn't seem fair to deny them the happiness of getting married.

You: The whole reason Jesus established the Church is to help us be perfectly happy in Heaven someday. But sometimes in this life, we have to endure things that are really hard. And I agree, not being able to get married can be really hard.

We don't really know why some people experience same-sex attraction, but it's not the most important thing anyway. What's most important is that our desires, attractions, and actions don't define who we are. What does define us is God's love for us - and He loves us so much that He died to redeem us and open Heaven for us - no matter what we've done or what sinful attractions we experience.

Friend: I heard that Pope Francis is allowing blessings of same-sex "marriages" now though.

You: What he actually said was that priests can certainly bless individuals who are living in a sinful situation, but not the same-sex relationship itself.